Over alcohol gesproken. Een leuk nummer gezongen door een 'dronken' Bobby Bare geschreven door Shel Silverstein.
Numbers
I was sittin' in Friday's suckin' on a glass of wine.
When in walked a chick, who almost struck me blind.
She had wet blue eyes and her legs were long and fine.
On a scale of one to ten, I'd give her a nine.
When in walked a chick, who almost struck me blind.
She had wet blue eyes and her legs were long and fine.
On a scale of one to ten, I'd give her a nine.
Now on my scale there ain't no ten's, you know.
Nine is as far as any chick can go.
So I flashed her a smile, but she didn't even look at me.
So for brains and good judgement, I'd give her a three.
Nine is as far as any chick can go.
So I flashed her a smile, but she didn't even look at me.
So for brains and good judgement, I'd give her a three.
I said, "Hey sweet thing, you look like a possible eight;
You and me could make eighteen, if your head's on straight;
Well she looked up and down my perfect frame;
And she said these words, that burned into my perfect brain :
You and me could make eighteen, if your head's on straight;
Well she looked up and down my perfect frame;
And she said these words, that burned into my perfect brain :
She said, "Well, another one of those macho-matician men;
The kind to grade all women on scales of one to ten;
And, you gave me an eight, well, that's a generous thing to do;
Now, let's just see, just how much I give you."
The kind to grade all women on scales of one to ten;
And, you gave me an eight, well, that's a generous thing to do;
Now, let's just see, just how much I give you."
She said, "You comin' on to me with that corny numbers jive;
And your style makes me smile, I give it a five;
When you walked up I noticed that suit you wore;
It's last year's double-knit frayed-cuffs, give that a four."
And your style makes me smile, I give it a five;
When you walked up I noticed that suit you wore;
It's last year's double-knit frayed-cuffs, give that a four."
"That must be your car, parked out on the curb;
That sixty-nine homemade convertible, a three and a third;
Now, as for that build, I guess you're less than five;
Except, for your pot belly, I'd give that a ten for size."
That sixty-nine homemade convertible, a three and a third;
Now, as for that build, I guess you're less than five;
Except, for your pot belly, I'd give that a ten for size."
"Now that wine you're pourin' might be fine to you;
But I'm used to fine Champagne, I give it a two;
It's hard to tell what your flashin' smile is worth;
I give it a six, you could use some dental work."
But I'm used to fine Champagne, I give it a two;
It's hard to tell what your flashin' smile is worth;
I give it a six, you could use some dental work."
"But, it's your struttin' rooster act that really makes me laugh;
It may be a ten to these country hens, but to me three and a half;
And there really ain't much to add once the subtractin's done;
And since there ain't no zeroes, I give you a one."
It may be a ten to these country hens, but to me three and a half;
And there really ain't much to add once the subtractin's done;
And since there ain't no zeroes, I give you a one."
Well she walked out, while up and down the line;
The whole bar was laughin', said, "Bare, what happened to your nine?"
Nine says, "Ah hell, soon as she started talkin' I knew;
Sure didn't have no class, I barely gave her a two."
The whole bar was laughin', said, "Bare, what happened to your nine?"
Nine says, "Ah hell, soon as she started talkin' I knew;
Sure didn't have no class, I barely gave her a two."
Yeah! No matter how good they look at first;
There's flaws in all of them;
That's why on a scale of ten to one, friend;
There ain't no tens.
There's flaws in all of them;
That's why on a scale of ten to one, friend;
There ain't no tens.